Wild Shoots

Why the secrecy bill isn't actually an issue

2011-11-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

I can't take it anymore.

The blind headlong rush, to follow the sheep and condemn the ANC.

The OMG, "I now know what it's like to live under Apartheid" Facebook statii.

It's insane, incredible, people falling over themselves to get on the bandwagon.

I suppose it's got to do; partly at least, with people's anger and frustration at being unable to really challenge or fix any of the real societal ills in our country, and this therefore gives them an avenue through which to lash out.

At least, I hope so; I hope that many of the people that I know and respect, aren't completely blinded by propaganda ... by the current mass public hysteria.

The number of people I know who fell over themselves to condemn something they hadn't read was exceptionally disappointing (Read it here, if you still haven't)

I'm not saying that the bill is perfect, not saying that there couldn't be improvements made to it. But, and this is the important part; by and large this Bill is many times better than the Bill introduced last year; and that even with the flaws that this Bill has, it does not in any way signify the "End of Democracy" as so many have put it.

First up, what many people don't know - is the crucial need for this Bill. Classified information in SA, is still controlled by a bill dating back to the Botha era in 1982. That Bill does not make provision for declassification of information, which is why the family of someone like Ahmed Timol, still can not access the information surrounding his death. So, the need for this Bill, is real - we need a way as a country to control classified information and the declassification of that information.

Secondly, people have spoken about how this act will make it impossible for the Media and Whistleblowers to prevent and expose corruption. Unfortunately, this just isn't true at all, for a couple of reasons:

A - The new Act, does not give any state official the right to classify information; only those in the three security departments (i.e. State Security, Defence and Police).

B - The Act, makes it a crime to incorrectly classify information - especially where this is being used to hide evidence of:

(i) " The decision to classify information must be based solely on the conditions set

out in this Act.

(2) (a) Secrecy is justiﬁable only when it is necessary to protect the national security.

(b) Classiﬁcation of state information may not under any circumstances be used to—

conceal an unlawful act or omission, incompetence, inefficiency or administrative error;

(ii) restrict access to state information in order to limit scrutiny and thereby avoid criticism;

(iii) prevent embarrassment to a person, organisation, or organ of state or agency;

(iv) unlawfully restrain or lessen competition; or

(v) prevent, delay or obstruct the release of state information that does not require protection under this Act.

(c) The classiﬁcation of state information is an exceptional measure and should be conducted strictly in accordance with section 12"

Further, the Act prescribes lengthy prison sentences for individuals who improperly classify information.

C - The new Act makes clear provisions for declassification of information, and requires that information that no longer needs to be classified must be declassified and information can not remain classified for more than 20 years except under exceptional circumstances

D - Information requested through access to information laws such as POIA must be reviewed and if the information can not be provided, reasons must be given. Where that information relates to breaking of a law, or environmental harm the information must be declassified

E - The Classification review board, that will review all classification decisions; may not include any state employees or members of political parties-> a simple and very easy way to prevent corruption and cronyism

F - In addition, if the head of a ministry refuses to release information; an application can be made in court - providing even further recourse

Now in addition numerous people have spoken about the harshness and draconian nature of the sentences that can be handed down for violation of this Bill.

If we compare the supposedly “draconian” measures to those prescribed around the world; we find that they are not nearly as harsh as one imagines. The Bill has it’s harshest penalties for someone revealing “Top Secret” (the highest classification) information to a foreign state – espionage in other words. For this the sentence is a minimum of 15 years to a maximum of 25 years. In the US for example, espionage leads to life imprisonment in a time of peace and execution during a time of war.

British law, similarly mandates life imprisonment or execution for espionage offences.

But, many people will cry out, the big issue is really around the “Public Interest Defence”. And yet again we find that the Act, makes provision for this. Section 43 of the Act, specifically allows disclosure of information where that is allowed for under the “Protected Disclosure Act”, or the “Companies Act” or any other law. When talking about evidence of corruption; this falls squarely in line with evidence that should be disclosed under the relevant criminal codes.

Lastly, people have spoken about appeals to the Constitutional Court, and spoken as if the highest court in the land is the only defender of democracy. What needs to be remembered is that not only is the court empowered by “democracy” to act in this matter; in terms of section 80 of the Constitution, this is completely envisioned as a part of a healthy and well functioning democracy.

In short, this is a storm in a teacup and people need to get their knickers out of a knot!

Post-Wednesday blues

2011-10-27T01:10:00.000-07:00

So, today's the day after Wednesday ..

The day after, "today, or bust"

And frankly, I feel a little blue; but not in a crazy unmanageable way.

I'm irked that I didn't get an email .. 'cos I think my application is good enough; and I deserve to get in. But we'll see ... and there's still next week Wed and the following Wed before I know for sure.

And as my friend Maria (who got her invite yesterday) said, there's a reasonably chance that they review applications in a non-prioritised way and thus a good chance that they just haven't looked at my application yet.

So not down and out yet .. not by a long shot ... but at least one of the three applications kinda needs to come through ... 'cos that would just be horrendous

Anyways .. i'm bunkered down at work today ... wondering when the ANCYL marchers will come strolling by ... sooner would be better than later .. I kinda need a distraction today :-)

MBA anxiety

2011-10-26T01:39:00.000-07:00

So i'm getting better. The bouts of sadness seem to have disappeared and life is generally sunny. Not totally sunshine and happiness to be clear but certainly things are improving at a healthy pace.

From where I was a few months ago to today, the path i've walked seems to have been both long and circuitous. But, now i'm fortunate enough to stand on a comfortable look-out point and from this vantage point, survey everything that has come to pass.

Today's a good day to be doing this, this little bit of self-reflection; mainly because I desperately need to take my mind off of the impending sense of doom that comes with the opening of the MBA interview invitation stage. Today is the first day for Harvard interview notifications, today and the next two Wednesdays. So i suppose I shouldn't really be as nervous as I am. But, it very much feels like "today, or bust" - because the majority of invites will go out today. I'll know for sure by the 9th of November; but I think if nothing comes through today, i'm going to start putting together the list of my second round application schools and a new application calendar.

I'm just nervous I guess, more so than I've been in a very long time. I think it would actually be more helpful for me (unlike most people) if I didn't know the dates, just knew that they were going to let you know by the 10th of Nov latest; because then it would have come as a pleasant surprise if I was contacted early.

So, anyways; back to my vantage point ... things seem to be going well -> Work, family, friends ... most everything seems to be ticking along smoothly .. Let's just hope that it lasts and isn't some kind of calm before the storm.

Till next time (probably next Wed) :-)

Reflections on love

2011-05-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

This started on one of the countless threads (oddly enough, they seem to have slowed down recently .. wonder where Ned is)

I think i'm starting to get a handle on this whole "love" thing.

Think i'm starting to understand what it means to be me ... think i'm starting to understand what makes me tick, what makes my heart pound.

And right now; i'm beginning to realise, much to Rash's horror .. that, that is all that matters.

Dewdrop was talking about "Criteria" and how they don't matter - and he's right .. As I've grown older, I've realised that none of the criterion matter.

Not sure who was blogging / linking to the posts about illiterate lovers, about lovers who write about lovers with passion; and none of it matters .. nothing matters except the ability to make your heart race. If that doesn't happen, nothing else does.

There are some non-negotiable criteria I guess .. for me at least .. it should be a she to begin with (I briefly toyed with the idea of making this negotiable then decided I wasn't that open minded). But that's about it.
A friend was telling me the other day, about how he fell in love with a Jewish girl. After some time, she converted; then it ended ... and she ended up marrying another muslim guy.
Which goes to show A - that the muslim girl criteria isn't really a good one .. and B - I don't know if I care anymore.
Why should it matter? If two people are compatible, can agree on a method, on a system for running their lives and that of their family; what does it matter? Didn't the prophet marry both Christian and Jewish wives; and they remained Christian and Jewish.

I guess, what i'm trying to say is: "If your heart skips a beat at the sight of him / her then that's it .. Khalaas .. It won't matter if the person is black, pink or green if they're 5 foot tall or 7 .. Because somewhere inside of you; some part of you know. And when you're wondering about criteria and having doubts and second thoughts somewhere inside of you will still know"

And you'll catch site of him/her or see a photo or even just think of the person and all those 2nd thoughts will be whisked away like they don't exist .. Because when your heart skips a beat, the mind is just an innocent bystander watching as the express train of your heart goes by.

Till another time and another place, here's hoping I catch an express train sooner rather than later :-)

Holes in the heart

2011-04-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

"There's a hole in the world tonight, don't let there be a hole in the world tomorrow"

That's how things feel right now .. desperately trying to keep it all together.

"There's a cloud of fear and sorrow" -> Can't be more spot on than this.

I think i'm stuck in an Eagles phase, would be nice to get out some time ...

So I haven't written in over 4 months; another year has past .. and I, I am older and perhaps wiser.

More cynical certainly.

There's some good news I suppose; i'm starting to gain more clarity on life .. at least the immediate professional future if nothing else.

Going to be in Abu Dhabi for the next 2 months at least; with a view towards making it a year long stay.

And then .. and then MBA .. and then .. who knows

Clarity, 2 months at a time I guess

And i've forgotten how to write, rusty I guess .. hopefully it's like riding a bike; not something you really forget, just that you need to practice once or twice.

So here's to clarity, and more writing, and a world without a hole

Falling ...

2010-12-19T14:58:00.000-08:00

I think, i'm falling for her,

i think, she might be the one.

I'm not perfect .. I don't quite no what to say or do,

sometimes; when i'm with her .. I stammer,

Like a blubbering idiot .. or babble on uncontrollably

I'm not quite sure what it is,

She's pretty - but not the prettiest

She's smart - but not the smartest

She's bubbly - but not frivolous

She's caring - but not the softest

She's stubborn - but not the worst

I'm still not quite sure what it is ..

But, I think she might be the one

Zen

2010-12-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

My friend, the zen master of them all the inimitable Zubair Habib inspired me;

A child of the soil,

living, eating and breathing

the air, the minerals and the soil

Living in Jozi, the city of gold;

maybe that's why it's still Egoli,

Maybe that's why it's the city of dreams

the city that drives it's people

leaves the rest of the country wondering what's wrong with us.

We've got the goldbug,

specks of gold; tinged with cyanide coursing through our waterways

entering our bloodstreams, infecting our brains

I wonder what it would take to break free,

to be at ease; to be comfortable with "nothingness"

The concept is so strange, not doing anything

not being, not doing, not searching, not seeking,

Just being .. just sitting still and absorbing ..

One day,

I too would like to be Zen!

Life and the chase

2010-08-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

What is it that pursues me, chases; consumes me. That leaves me feeling bereft and alone. I'm not this person, this angst ridden tortured soul; finding solace in the chase.

What does it mean, where does it take me. Why can't I face the truth, what happened to honesty; i'm totally bereft of it.

I wish I knew, wish I understood what tormented me. Why do I feel so alone even when i'm surrounded by people. I'm going no-where here ... that much I can realise!

Let me try to explain, a few weeks ago I was overcome with feelings of sadness; waves of depression almost. i wanted to curl up in a corner and cry.

I don't know why, no idea what caused it; although I have a hypothesis. The only thing that staved it off was that, I was at work; and there just wasn't enough time for me to go and sit in the corner.

I hope it's tiredness; just time catching up with my current frenetic lifestyle. I really pray that's all it is. That's easy to fix; a few days off and good as new!

But I really don't believe that, that it's that easy or simple. It's some form of cognitive dissonance; mind and heart not truly aligned.

There will be a heavy price to pay - soon enough. I just hope that I have a pillar to lean on by the time the wave breaks

Of men and women

2010-08-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

I seem to have rediscovered my need to express myself .. possibly inspired by Bb-Aisha .. her debate with Shak on the nature of relationships made me want to throw in my 2 cents worth.

I think I have a different perspective on marriage and relationships; on the roles and responsibilities of a married couple.

My perspective is mainly driven by having grown-up and experienced a household not entirely in-line with the mainstream Muslim experience.

I grew-up in a household where both my parents worked full-time from a very young age. My mum stopped working for two years after having me (the eldest) and then returned to work. When my brothers were born she stopped working for much shorter periods of time, 3 and 2 months respectively.

And to tell you the truth, I think we all turned out pretty fine :-)

The reason this worked was that there was a full-time commitment from both my parents to making this work, to sharing the responsibilities of parenthood and keeping a house as equally as possible.

Now, this is often a concept spoken about by couples, normally in a "we'll both participate .." but quite frankly most of the time one side falls down on their obligation, unfortunately normally the man!

So what does this mean for me, what does this non-traditional experience actually result in. How does this shape my thinking into a slightly less mainstream viewpoint - and what does that viewpoint look like in real life?

For me the concept is clear, that of a true union of equality between parties. In practice, one would expect both parties to be at the same level, both in terms of education, but also drive and desire to succeed.

I would strongly disagree therefore with the idea that a women would need to be "allowed to travel to conferences" indeed the very idea is non-negotiable; of course a women should do the travelling. It forms a part of her duty and responsibility as a breadwinner.

I even more strongly abhor the idea that "(Women) who have had freedom .. should want it post (marriage)". Perhaps my perspective is skewed and I should be appropriately lambasted but for me the idea of The Husband, the king /tyrant who rules over a relationship .. dictating freedoms as he sees fit is completely alien to me. I think it has very little if any place in a modern relationship.

So to be clear, I advocate freedom, absolute freedom for both parties. However, in line with freedoms must come responsibilities. And it is respect for these responsibilities that governs our freedoms and ensures we don't degenerate into anarchy.

In much the same way as an individual can not play loud music at night (disturbing the peace) nor can they sing "kill the Boer" (hate speech) so the freedoms of the couple to pursue their ambitions and objectives both individually and together must be balanced with the rights of others.

Allah says clearly in the Quran "you have right's over them and they have rights over you" (referring to men and women). So your right's or freedoms must be balanced by the rights of other's over you .. namely that of the spouse, the family and the household.

What does this mean practically?

That the couple should as they see fit, divide and delegate responsibilities and obligations in line with the strengths, interests and development goals of both parties. If the wife is a great cook then let her cook and the husband clean. And if the husband wants to learn how to cook, let them both cook together and both clean.

The concept is simple, one of total equity (not equality) between the parties in an attempt to create a relationship, a family and a society that is more just and fair

The Great Confusion

2010-07-29T18:16:00.001-07:00

This is a story that begins somewhere in the mists of time, when early man roamed the Earth. A passing Neanderthal man saw a beautiful Neanderthal women and said "Ugha Ugha" ("I really like you") to which she replied "Grah urgh, gur, allar .. " ("I think I like you, but i'm not sure; my heart says yes, but my head says no. Tell you what, give me some time to think about it and get back to you"). He turned and started walking away, just as he disappeared out of sight she yelled out "ooom ugha ugha" ("I like you too, maybe!"). And so began the Great Confusion; the process whereby innocent men are completely befuddled by the great mystery that is womenkind.

This post is inspired by my recent receipt of a Dear John letter (an sms in this case).

Of course the sms was mindbogglingly stereotypical "You're a great person ... But I have commitment phobia"

I'm sorry, I missed the part where one enters into a relationship with the intention of committing?! And of course it must be my imagination running wild, when I recall the conversations about children and how bringing them up should never be a women's responsibility but rather a shared one.

One would imagine that these types of discussions, especially when initiated by the other party don't exude a sense of commitment phobia but rather almost the other extreme.

One or two friends suggested that the girl was crazy, another even offered up a clinical diagnosis. But I don't think that, it's that simple. Rather I believe it is symptomatic across much of womankind. It would be easy to dismiss if this was an isolated incident, but cast your mind's back gentle readers, and every single one of you will be able to recall something similar.

The most visible symptom of this disease that appears endemic in the female population, is the concept of "blowing hot and cold", erratic behaviour and a general unpredictability. As men I believe, that too often we attempt to treat these symptoms as if they are issues in an of themselves as opposed to having a single root cause. The root cause is the concept of "confusion".

One of the smarter male tweeters described best how most men view relationships "Guys are either we want you or we don't. No maybe". Sure, there are some men, who don't behave in this manner, and the general belief is that, one can not claim to be a "Man" and then behave in this manner.

In contrast, not only do most women behave in this manner, but in general they justify it with totally outlandish statements "It's a women's prerogative to change her mind". Perhaps a few members of the fairer sex would care to enlighten me, and explain how with that type of an attitude and the resultant behaviour it could possibly be men who are more confusing than women?

Thanks to Sofia Fatima for encouraging me to blog this and Bibi Aisha for reminding me :-)

Apologies for the quality of the post .. insomnia and a sense of guilt for not doing this earlier ..

It was therapeutic though.

Would love to hear what everyone thinks ..

English Experiences: Part 1 - York

2010-03-01T01:13:00.000-08:00

So i've now been in the UK for 1 full month, which makes it an appropriate time to start writing my grossly overdue blog posts.

Instead of being about the experiences i've had for the entire month, i'd like to dedicate this post to my wonderful hosts Parasputin and ElusiveR and their wonderful kids, Abdul-Hamid and Shoaib.

So I went to York yesterday; on my way to Scarborough .. I messed up the train times, and Asif very generously offered to pick me up from York. Whilst I was waiting for him I took a walk around York; it's a really pretty city.

For example this is a photo of the city walls which are almost 600 years old.

I also checked out the ridiculously gorgeous York Minster or Cathedral .. it's amazing MJ you've gotta check it out .. could easily be a stand-in for the Lord of the Rings

There was also this crazy dude .. dressed up like a Harry Potter character .. in bright purple on his bicycle!

I really really liked York, there was a little something for everyone .. even Nabila would have loved the Beatrix Potter shop

It's really the most charming little city

Asif picked me up after a little while and took me to his home town of Scarborough, well actually the little village of Ailsley (I think that's the spelling); I had Rabia's fantastic akhni .. 4 helpings later and my belly was pleading with me to stop!

We took the boys down to the Scarborough beach front to have ice-cream at this really cool retro ice-cream parlour. The waitresses wore those little yellow skirts twas crazy ..

(Check-out Rabia in the photo)

Then minor disaster struck and briefly threatened to ruin what had been a super great day for me, when I missed my train out of town .. Asif saved the day, my offering me a place for the night .. the result extra cuddle time with Abdul-Hamid, Yay!

A day for rememberance

2010-02-01T09:03:00.000-08:00

A friend shared this poem on facebook, felt I had to share it with everyone else. One of the most powerful poems i have ever read:

A MOMENT OF SILENCE, BEFORE I START THIS POEM

Before I start this poem, I'd like to ask you to join me
In a moment of silence
In honor of those who died in the World Trade Center and the
Pentagon last September 11th.
I would also like to ask you
To offer up a moment of silence
For all of those who have been harassed, imprisoned,
disappeared, tortured, raped, or killed in retaliation for those strikes,
For the victims in both Afghanistan and the U.S.

And if I could just add one more thing...
A full day of silence
For the tens of thousands of Palestinians who have died at the
hands of U.S.-backed Israeli
forces over decades of occupation.
Six months of silence for the million and-a-half Iraqi people,
mostly children, who have died of
malnourishment or starvation as a result of an 11-year U.S.
embargo against the country.

Before I begin this poem,
Two months of silence for the Blacks under Apartheid in South Africa,
Where homeland security made them aliens in their own country.
Nine months of silence for the dead in Hiroshima and Nagasaki,
Where death rained down and peeled back every layer of
concrete, steel, earth and skin
And the survivors went on as if alive.
A year of silence for the millions of dead in Vietnam - a people,
not a war - for those who
know a thing or two about the scent of burning fuel, their
relatives' bones buried in it, their babies born of it.
A year of silence for the dead in Cambodia and Laos, victims of
a secret war ... ssssshhhhh....
Say nothing ... we don't want them to learn that they are dead.
Two months of silence for the decades of dead in Colombia,
Whose names, like the corpses they once represented, have
piled up and slipped off our tongues.

Before I begin this poem.
An hour of silence for El Salvador ...
An afternoon of silence for Nicaragua ...
Two days of silence for the Guatemaltecos ...
None of whom ever knew a moment of peace in their living years.
45 seconds of silence for the 45 dead at Acteal, Chiapas
25 years of silence for the hundred million Africans who found
their graves far deeper in the ocean than any building could
poke into the sky.
There will be no DNA testing or dental records to identify their remains.
And for those who were strung and swung from the heights of
sycamore trees in the south, the north, the east, and the west...

100 years of silence...
For the hundreds of millions of indigenous peoples from this half
of right here,
Whose land and lives were stolen,
In postcard-perfect plots like Pine Ridge, Wounded Knee, Sand
Creek,
Fallen Timbers, or the Trail of Tears.
Names now reduced to innocuous magnetic poetry on the
refrigerator of our consciousness ...

So you want a moment of silence?
And we are all left speechless
Our tongues snatched from our mouths
Our eyes stapled shut
A moment of silence
And the poets have all been laid to rest
The drums disintegrating into dust.

Before I begin this poem,
You want a moment of silence
You mourn now as if the world will never be the same
And the rest of us hope to hell it won't be. Not like it always has
been.

Because this is not a 9/11 poem.
This is a 9/10 poem,
It is a 9/9 poem,
A 9/8 poem,
A 9/7 poem
This is a 1492 poem.

This is a poem about what causes poems like this to be written.
And if this is a 9/11 poem, then:
This is a September 11th poem for Chile, 1971.
This is a September 12th poem for Steven Biko in South Africa,
1977.
This is a September 13th poem for the brothers at Attica Prison,
New York, 1971.
This is a September 14th poem for Somalia, 1992.
This is a poem for every date that falls to the ground in ashes
This is a poem for the 110 stories that were never told
The 110 stories that history chose not to write in textbooks
The 110 stories that CNN, BBC, The New York Times, and
Newsweek ignored.
This is a poem for interrupting this program.

And still you want a moment of silence for your dead?
We could give you lifetimes of empty:
The unmarked graves
The lost languages
The uprooted trees and histories
The dead stares on the faces of nameless children
Before I start this poem we could be silent forever
Or just long enough to hunger,
For the dust to bury us
And you would still ask us
For more of our silence.

If you want a moment of silence
Then stop the oil pumps
Turn off the engines and the televisions
Sink the cruise ships
Crash the stock markets
Unplug the marquee lights,
Delete the instant messages,
Derail the trains, the light rail transit.

If you want a moment of silence, put a brick through the window
of Taco Bell,
And pay the workers for wages lost.
Tear down the liquor stores,
The townhouses, the White Houses, the jailhouses, the
Penthouses and the Playboys.

If you want a moment of silence,
Then take it
On Super Bowl Sunday,
The Fourth of July
During Dayton's 13 hour sale
Or the next time your white guilt fills the room where my beautiful
people have gathered.

You want a moment of silence
Then take it NOW,
Before this poem begins.
Here, in the echo of my voice,
In the pause between goosesteps of the second hand,
In the space between bodies in embrace,
Here is your silence.
Take it.
But take it all...Don't cut in line.
Let your silence begin at the beginning of crime. But we,
Tonight we will keep right on singing...For our dead.

EMMANUEL ORTIZ, 11 Sep 2002.

Stolen Meme's

2010-01-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

So I first saw this nifty Q & A for 2009 on Nafisa's blog and thought it was pretty cool .. now that both Azra and Waseem have done it, i'd better jump on the bandwagon as well.

It's a bit late it's true .. but better late than never

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Got arrested ooh and had a real job

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Didn't really have any resolutions last year, plenty this year though

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
A fun contrast to last year, spent it chilling out with friends in Umhlanga, playing on the beach in the rain

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope, not really, well MJ's gone .. and so i suppose pop is dead; but that's more of a thing than a person

5. What countries did you visit?
Went to the England in April, mainly to watch football

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More adventure I guess, hopefully should be off to Nigeria pretty soon .. but also more adventure in life

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
1 Feb, the day I started working at my first real job

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Turning around my performance at work, something I didn't think was possible six months ago

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to maintain links, connections and relationships the way they deserved to be

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Right at the end of the year, I dislocated my shoulder (time number 15); thankfully 09 was free of any heart drama

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Tickets to watch Man Utd play Aston Villa at Old Trafford, what a fabulous time .. oh and perhaps the new apartment; but i'll still be thinking of that as 2010s purchase

12. Where did most of your money go?
Squandered i guess; in the words of the immortal George Best "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars, the rest I just squandered" .. although the fast car did account for a goodly chunk

13. What song will always remind you of 2009?
My sex is on fire - Kings of Leon

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Blogging, and just accepting and enjoying life

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stressing about things beyond my control

16. What was your favourite TV program?
Big Bang Theory

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Absolutely .. the Swiss Bitch who made my life such a misery in the first half of this year

18. What was the best book you read?
On the road - Jack Kerouac

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?
That I like deep house much more than I thought I did .. and that the Parlotones are really, truly fantastic

20. What was your favourite film of this year?
Avatar was amazing but I think Invictus wins because it tugged at the heart strings so much

21. What did you do on your birthday?
Can't remember the specifics, but it ended with riding a bus past the hospital I was born in in London

22. What kept you sane?
Work and the amazing friends i've made

23. Who did you miss?
Friends .. Kaajal in particular, although that was mainly my fault

24. Who was the best new person you met?
Maria who shares an office with me

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
That I can accomplish things I didn't really believe I could .. thought I could .. but never believed

2009 in review - Chasing Cars

2010-01-03T14:48:00.000-08:00

So the year in review, feels much like the title of the Snow Patrol song, "Chasing Cars", not actually like the lyrics of the song surprisingly, just the title. The lyrics are sorta relevant i suppose, a love story of sorts, but we'll come to that. The

So 2009, started off with more a whimper than a bang. I was partying up in Bellito at a 5Fm gig, which was pretty fun, but a whole lot less fun than the pre-planned alternative of partying in the Coliseum in Rome with a friend. The deviation from the plan was of course driven by my broken heart which ended with my doc barring me from flying. So there I was dancing in the New Year, opening up a new chapter in my life, the end of me the engineer and the beginning of me the management consultant.

Work didn't actually start for another month, 1 Feb was the big day, and what a ride that has been. I briefly mentioned what it was like, but to surmise it's been a crazy fun filled roller-coaster full of 18 hour days, tremendous excitement at actually driving change, and interspersed and mixed up between this some painful shocks to the system.

Which brings me to the title of this post "Chasing Cars", it's been the theme of my year, well "Chasing" at any rate. Chasing, was to use some Chessic jargon the leitmotif, for me. The year began with me chasing a girl, and ended in a similar fashion, chasing girls. Sandwiched in between, was me chasing the rest of life, chasing work.

I suppose on some level that's what life's about .. chasing .. perhaps just in my corporatised existence? I spent the work year chasing. Chasing after clients, after data (you'd think clients would want to share, considering they hired us, but you'd be wrong). Chasing after projects, the plum ones, in fabulous locations like Madagascar; and most importantly perhaps, chasing after good performance reviews. It's odd that, when 2 weeks, 6 months, an entire year is compressed down into a single page memo, a 10 minute meeting to discuss your performance rating and what that means going forward. It worked out all right in the end, i'll spare you most of the messy bits and pieces in between; but in retrospect it seems so bizarre.

There was plenty of other chasing throughout the year, including some actual "Chasing Cars", that was back in April; it was late one Friday night, after dinner with friends in Joburg. I'd promised a friend i'd drop off some stuff in Pretoria that night, but I needed to be back in Joburg by 7 the next morning. It was 1 in the morning, and the M1 North was pretty empty as I put my foot down, the next thing I knew there was a bright flash and a posse of cop cars chasing me down the highway and violently gesticulating at me to pull over. Less than 10 minutes later I was sitting in Midrand police station, having been flashed doing 178 km/h. Flashing through my mind on the way to the station was everything i'd ever heard about South African jails, anal rape by career criminals, brutal prison gangs and callous policeman. It took almost an hour for the cops to process my paperwork, by which time my folks had arrived at the station (I'd called them in my panic). The swearing and yelling I got from them as I was arraigned ended up being worse than the rest of the jail experience.

I was locked up with 30 other well off men, all arrested for driving in excess of 160 km/h. We laughed at our fears, and swapped speed stories. Unsurprisingly all 30 of us were driving German cars! There were 4 other men in the cell, 3 had been arrested for drinking in public and the fourth for drunk driving. So much then for the scary SA jails; I hired a lawyer before my court appearance who got me off scott-free on some technicality or the other; but i've certainly learnt my lesson. I will never drive at more than 160 on the M1 North!

So what else did I chase this year, life i suppose - that old cliche about working hard and playing/partying harder. Did my very best to live up to that for much of the year. 'Twas a tad schizophrenic i suppose, clubbing versus halqa's; hiking and the outdoors versus marathon PS3 sessions. I think it was a rebellion, a reaction perhaps to 4 years of the regimented life of an engineering student, of living at home, to my new found freedom; the ability to do anything without reprimand or even much of a word of caution. At some point point, burnout threatened to become an issue, but I was fortunate in the timing of projects; they allowed me just enough time to regain my breath, before plunging headlong into another packed calendar.

And so the final thing I chased this year, to return this post to where it started, 'Chasing Cars", and it's slightly too sickly sweet and sentimental lyrics. I chased women this year, far too many for my own good. To the point where as a friend put it, it was becoming bad for my soul!

The year started with me chasing the love of my life, who had decided in her infinite wisdom that we weren't actually cut out to be together for all eternity. It took a few months of hard chasing, wining and dining, for me to realise that the moment had been lost, things had changed and there was no going back.

Next on the list was an almost innocent flirtation then ended in a slightly seedy meeting of hands and lips, that may unfortunately have ruined a budding friendship. I don't think I was really chasing that, perhaps the anxiety and frustrations of the last few months had just sort of boiled over.

Most of the rest of the year was too consumed with my quest for a better performance review to afford much chasing time, but I think I easily compressed more than enough into the final 2 months of the year.

Another budding friendship inexorably altered by an accidental slip of the tongue (really bad pun I know), it left a sour aftertaste in my mouth and hers, here's hoping that can friendship can be resurrected sooner rather than later.

Which leads me to this last month, a tale of three beauties each with their own flaws and saving graces, pretty faces and slightly darker souls:

The ravishing medical student from Cape Town
The razor sharp investment banking belle
And the cutie-pie old family friend, who seems to be hinting at something

The Good Lord alone knows how all this will end up, but here's hoping that 2010 is less about chasing and more about catching. Less about anxiety and insecurity and more about certainty and confidence.

Here's to a 2010 filled with Bafana magic, and the euphoria of the World Cup, and perhaps to finding the one beside whom I can just lie "And Just Forget the World"

PS: And hopefully a lot more blogging :-)

PE and the perfect wave

2009-12-27T14:14:00.000-08:00

So I think PE is starting to grow on me, i'm starting to quite enjoy the little holidays we have here. They're quiet, i don't think PE will ever be a party town but it's rather relaxing and restful. Sometimes that's all you really need.

I've been here a week this time .. it's generally the normal length we stay - dad owns a flat right on the beach, close enough that i can throw stones into the water and so it's rather idyllic. I wasn't at all enamoured of the place the first time we came (pre the flat), stayed in the holiday inn; was windy and rainy and the city looked like a dump to be frank. Then dad got a job here, bought the flat and really did a good job on decorating the place.

So PE started growing on me then, for almost a year; but then just as I was about to decide I liked the place, I suffered a freak accident on the beach. Now, my family is nuts about the beach - when we come to the coast that's all we really want to do - is swim. In Durban, in the middle of winter, my family will swim. In December when everyone is staying in Umhlanga we still stay in Durban, because the beach is so much better there.

So last April (2008) we were preparing for lunch, and I seeing the waves rolling in, decided to go for a quick swim before we sat down to eat. Less than 5 minutes later I was on the phone to my folks begging them to come quick! Trying to dive under a wave before it could break, i'd dived half a second late. The wave had broken onto me, squarely onto my outstretched arm, and pop; my bum shoulder had been dislocated once again! When I eventually made it out the water (no thanks to the lifeguards) I was taken to hospital to have my shoulder reset for the umpteenth time.

The week following this incident might have been one of the worst of my entire life. Relationship issues combined with my utter helplessness due to the shoulder made me incredibly depressed, reading Fisk's the Great War for Civilization probably didn't help either. The incident and the week gave me even more respect for my quadriplegic friend (she was in a car accident) and almost put me off PE for good.

I was back in PE last December, driving the Garden Route with the folks, I managed to get back in the water, overcoming my fears, but I couldn't quite sum up the courage to face the beach directly in front of the flat where my accident had happened.

Which brings me full circle back to today and this week. A week of utter tranquility and rest. It had a few moments of tension; natural when 5 people who don't normally live together are together pretty much 24/7. But the week was fantastic, morning's started reasonably late, with a swim around 9 or 10. We'd come back and have brunch with eggs, sausages and fruit. The rest of the day would be spent lazing around swopping between Fifa 10, the beach, scrabble, 30 seconds and thunie (an indian card game). And you know what, I loved it; all year i've been on the move all the time, working flat out and partying even harder so this week was fantastic. Even better I was able, with a little teasing and prompting from my brothers to face my fears and swim Pollock beach.

This finally brings me to today, and the perfect wave. We got a superb sessions in after brunch today, the water had finally warmed up (all week had been slightly chilly) and the waves kept rolling in. My brother took a breather at some point saying riding so many waves was tiring him out, whilst my dad commented on how it was almost too easy to ride these waves.

And then it came, the perfect wave, quite possibly the single best wave I have ever had the pleasure and privilege to ride. It reared up, nice and high with a beautiful little head of foam. I hesitated for a moment at the height and then decided to go for it. I caught it just right, head up, arms and face in front of the wave, feeling the incredible rush as the wave carried me forward. Then this beaut that I was riding overtook a smaller wave infront, instead of halting our progress the smaller wave was also seemingly borne along. Instead of being dumped at the end of the ride, the small wave gently cushioned my descent. A fantastic ride, a great way to end an awesome week in PE

Invictus - the unconquerable

2009-12-23T14:09:00.000-08:00

So i'm going to say this upfront, I absolutely loved this movie, I have and will continue to recommend it to anyone and everyone I meet - for me was absolutely fantastic.

The one cool thing about writing about this movie, is that I don't have to worry about a Spoiler Alert; we all know the story, we know it has a happy ending .. some of us might even remember most of the twists and turns - and yet without a doubt the best movie i've seen all year.

I remember the 95 world cup, remember sitting with my dad in the house in Newlands, watching the Boks take on Australia, the roar from the stadium could be heard through the open windows. These are some of my earliest memories (it's actually odd - I don't remember much from my childhood, the first thing I remember is being at the rally in Cape Town after Mandela was released) and so for me, watching this brought all those memories flooding back.

The reason then, that I loved this movie so much, is perhaps not its cinematic brilliance, but rather the way it tugged at my heartstrings, made me remember why I'm a fiercely patriotic Saffer. That my country and it's people, went through hell and back and emerged on the other side as a viable nation. It's difficult to explain in a few written words why I scorn those who emigrate, why I truly believe this is one of the best places on earth to live; but try I must.

That we as a nation have moved from this terrorist Mandela, to Tata Madiba - the father of the nation. From an all white Springbok team, to Bryan Habana as the darling of the Loftus faithful. Where Makhaya Ntini's 100th test match is greeted with acclaim by all - this journey of self-discovery shows me why our nation will succeed.

And that for me is the message of this movie, the key takeaway for every South African; that as Mandela famously said "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure"; that's what I took away a stirring message for us all.

Apart from the relentless positivity the movie inspired in me ( I hope and pray that Bafana take some inspiration from it as well) I was pleasantly surprised to find that Mandela is a fan of Invictus. It's been my favourite poem ever since Timothy Mcveigh (the Oklahoma City bomber), used it as his last statement. It's one of only 2 poems I ever memorised (sonnet 114 - "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day" being the other) and thus the poem being sung was pretty awesome as well.

Apologies for the disjointed thought flows; I blame rustiness and summer vacations. So go out, watch the movie and be inspired. And let me know what you think!

PS: I forgot to mention, that Invictus made me tear up! It's been a while, the last one was Veer-Zara

Blogger letters - a joy deferred

2009-10-26T06:31:00.000-07:00

So I finally received my letter from Azra, this being the third iteration of the letter from her side due to some misunderstandings and confusion about postal addresses ... and it rocked!

To start with, it had a seal .. plus Azra's slightly untidy scrawl (I kid, the address was neatly written, the letter itself not). Plus all the pent-up excitement, that had been building for weeks. I remember sending my letter almost 2 months ago; and in the interim Azra and I have sent innumerable messages trying to get the post through, which by the way is why normal people don't write letters anymore; even fast mail takes a good few days.

And then there was the letter itself, a solid 4 pages long and with my initials embossed onto the first page. Folded up, inside the envelope it possessed an unusual, heft; which I later discovered was a good luck coin glued to the final page.

Much of the content of the letter is private; suffice to say that it included a few heartfelt confessions plus some rather risque pics.

The joy is in the reading, the dwelling upon ideas, imagination free to wonder, without having to confine yourself to 140 characters. Simply letting the words, scatter themselves across the page; meandering without the pressing urgency to make a point that so much of the written word is now reduced to."Be top-down, be punchier" is the constant refrain; thus the joy of a delightful wordy meander is magnified.

The story of how life happens, without waiting for your plans to bear fruition, to just live in the moment; to quote John Lennon "Life is what happens, while you are busy making other plans"; was the theme of the letter. Sauntering on with exquisite verbosity, Azra spoke of peregrination, wandering from one place to another, every new destination a place for an exciting sojourn.

Without a doubt, her letter, is for me an excuse to rub the dust from my eyes, and get on with living!

Why hippies make me want to vomit (... and why GM crops will save the world)

2009-10-23T00:51:00.000-07:00

So having been labelled a hippy before, I know this is a massive generalisation ... but to be frank most hippies and in particular 1 hippy make me want to vomit.

It's terrible I know, we should respect and understanding for people's positions, thoughts and way of thinking about things, but really .. this level of idiocy and stupidity is more than even my iron cast stomach can handle.

When you consistently talk about GM crops with an authoritative tone of voice, but actually know close to nothing, it's actually kind of revolting. Comments like "GM crops only have 10% of the nutritional value of organics" are not only wrong but so clearly wrong it boggles the mind that they could be even considered plausible.

Sure, I get the whole "we should go back to nature vibe" (said in your best stoner drawl) but to be honest, organic food can not feed the planet. Actually it could, if we got rid of all our livestock, but the plausibility of that scenario is even more far-fetched. So sure, let's get back on our moral high horses and talk about how Gaia knows best and continue to let millions of Africans starve and die because we refuse to utilise drought resistant high-yield crops.

By the by, GM crops, would alleviate the need for herbicides and pesticides by allowing for disease resistant crops. And yes, Monsanto is an evil corporation, but their crops and their innovations will help mankind. And yes, terminator genes (so that you need to buy new seed every year) is not ideal, but is the only way to allow people to invest the necessary resources to allow for innovation. It's the same like saying that big pharma shouldn't be allowed to make money; all it betrays is a lack of understanding and gross naivety.

Honestly I think it's the idioticy that irritates me the most. The lack of understanding that conceptually there's very little difference between GM crops and selective breeding, which is something mankind has been doing with both livestock and crops for over 2 millenia (not 1oo years as our hippy friend would have you believe)

So i'm really sorry that my first blog in months is little more than a rant about stupid people, but that's the way it is. I'm sorry, people that dumb are little more than a waste of Oxygen

Work, life and the elections

2009-04-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to all of you who have yelled, urged and cajoled me into blogging again.

So the main reason I haven't blogged in a while, 3 odd months, is that my working life is insane .. my average day is 12hours whilst a rough one is around 19 hours. When late nights are followed by early morning for more than a few days, the ability to do much more than sleep when going home becomes severely compromised. It's all in the fabulous life of a management consultant!

To be honest with myself though, I haven't had much that really stirred my emotions enough, for me to make the time to blog. Today however, is different; the elections yesterday really stirred my soul.

Those of you who know me well, know that at heart I am an ANC man, that I believe that the party that brought us liberation will and should continue to rule in the public good, until as Mr Zuma says "Jesus Christ comes". But, simultaneously I am a firm supporter of COPE; because as a South African citizen, I believe that a 2/3 party system is a fundamental underpinning to a healthy multi-party democracy. I do believe that everyone in life needs a little pressure to be put onto them; that in the absence of a threat to the ANC's majority; the drive to ensure delivery will continue to be missing.

In this regard I must agree with the noted political analyst Adam Habib, that whilst the DA remains rooted in minority politics, that is attempting to scare-monger the white, coloured and indian populations, they can not emerge as a viable alternative to the ANC. That whilst slogans such as Stop Zuma, do indeed effectively mobilise their support base; they can never win the hearts and minds of the people. "A better life for all", not only explains the aspirations of the party it is infact a highly effective manifesto conveying all the multi-layered discussions around access to housing, electricity, water and social grants. It is therefore that I voted as the slogan so aptly puts it, "for Hope". Knowing full well that the possibility of COPE winning this election was non-existent that even the odds of becoming the official opposition were slim; but rather voting for the promise of a real viable alternative to the ANC in the 2014 elections and beyond. That COPE's policies often closely correlate with those of the ANC's does not disturb me in the least, for I continue to believe that these represent the most effective policies for this nation. The important thing is thus not to focus on the similarites but rather the differences in policies - for that is the key; not the parts of policy that everyone is in consensus upon. We all agree for the need for freedom of speech; yet no-one complains about this common position... Moving along swiftly and before this post becomes too much a analysis of the 3 main parties, I need to touch upon the mass hysteria that seems to be sweeping the country vis a vis the ANC's 2/3 majority.

There are 3 key elements that we need to all remember before we decide that Mr Zuma and the ANC's massive election victory, which is likely to have a 2/3 majority, means the end of this country as a functioning state:

1) The ANC has had a 2/3 majority for the last 5 years, the only major constitutional amendment during this time was the floor-crossing legislation. Remember if you will that this amendment was carried out on the request of the DA to allow for the dissolution of the DA/NNP alliance; remember also that this particular amendment was done with the support of 90% of parliament. Evidently the opposition parties aren't too worried about the sanctity of the constitution when the changes are beneficial towards them. Whilst the ANC may have the power to change the constitution, they are also the governing party and realise that any changes would likely lead to massive investor panic; and would thus have a major negative impact on the ANC's goal of "A better life for all".

2) The key possible constitutional amendments that people panic about are actually not possible with a 2/3 majority. They actually require a 3/4 (or 75% majority for those whose maths skills are decaying) majority to effect. This majority is required for changes to for example abrogate freedom of speech or change the term of office of the president.

3) Whilst the ANC if frequently portrayed as a monolithic organisation, remember that the people sitting in parliament are exactly that people. People not faceless drones, people who fought and suffered for the liberation of this country. People who saw their comrades laying down their lives for the freedom's that we now enjoy. Thus, I do not fear; even for a moment that they will now abrogate their duty to defend our democracy and our fledgling nation.

We Love You Bono

2009-01-19T01:32:00.000-08:00

So I was watching the Obama Lovefest (otherwise knows as the Inaugural Concert) last night which was pretty fun. The whole production was really pretty slick and the degree to which they took the inclusiveness thing was on the verge of being excessive.

Firstly, every prominent African-American (read Black) actor was out, starting with Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx to Samuel Jackson, even Queen Latifah came in for some fairer sex relief. To top that though, they were even inclusive towards Hispanics and Indians with George Lopez and Kal Pen (Kumar from Harold and Kumar fame) on stage too.

Just about then though, my dad commented along the lines that the jingoistic Americanism was starting to grate; that every time he heard those lines about freedom all he could think about were the Palestinians. Right then and there though, Bono came along to save my evening.

Singing "Pride", the song about Martin Luther King Jr (Google the lyrics) he spoke to the world. As Bono sang the chorus "in the name of love" he stopped for some trademark preaching that warmed my heart. "This is not just an American dream, but also an Irish dream, a European dream, an African dream, an Israeli dream". My heart felt like it was going to break, here was Bono, the rockstar crusader for the people of the world, ignoring the Palestinians. He waited a few second as if wondering 'Just how much trouble am I going to get into for this' and then yelled "and a Palestinian dream". It was amazing, the crowd went wild as he said Palestinian cheering for a good minute as Bono bellowed "Let Freedom Reign".

Thanks Bono, for saving my night

Why No Tears for Israel?

2009-01-04T17:02:00.000-08:00

So lets start by forgetting about Israeli oppression of the Palestinian people; their illegal occupation of Palestinian land. Lets for moment ignore the dozens of UN resolutions that Israel is in violation of; the ones that started being issued in 1948; those in 1967; or those in 1976; lets even forget about the ones that continue to be issued. Lets rather focus on today, on this current massacre of the Palestinian people.

First though lets give you a quick lesson in checking your facts before opening your mouth. To start with, the first Qassam rocket was launched in April 2001, thats 7 years not 8 .. count them. Secondly up until mid-2006 rockets were only launched in retaliation for continuing Israeli attacks on Palestinian's. Then you ask why Hamas continues to fire rockets considering Israel evacuated Gaza in 2005.

Well possibly, just maybe, it's because Israel imposed a crippling blockade on Gaza, allowing only a tiny fraction of the necessary goods through.. just maybe? So, if they can't get at the supplies they need to build their schools and hospitals; because the Israeli army prevents it; what exactly are they supposed to do? Well, you might be asking, why is this blockade in place; it's surely to prevent those bloodthirsty terrorists from attacking Israel. Surprisingly not; the blockade according to the Israeli government is "to prevent Hamas from governing Gaza effectively and in this way turn the people against Hamas". Wait, I must be missing something here, Hamas won the election, which was overseen by Israel; after Israel allowed it to contest the election. Then unhappy with the way the people voted, they tried to punish them? No, I must be misunderstanding this, there's no way a civilised, democratic nation like Israel would ever do that!

To quote Mark Steel, in the Independent ".. must have one of those conditions, called something like 'Visual Carnage Responsibility Back to Front Upside Down Massacre Disorder'". This is so, because like Condoleezza Rice after having seen 300 Gazan's dead, you ".. condemn the attacks on Israel and hold Hamas responsible". I'd love to quote his whole article verbatim actually, because it just so throughly illustrates the complete and utter ridiculousness of holding the victims responsible for the crime (read it at:http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/mark-steel/mark-steel-so-what-have-the-palestinians-got-to-complain-about-1218135.html).

I do sort of understand where you're coming from though, it's akin to condemning the rape victim for wearing a mini-skirt. Ah well, what would we know; it's not like we've ever had to rape someone.

On and on, I go; it's becoming a bit repetitive isn't it, all these factual errors in your argument, i'd be slightly ashamed by now. Ah.. where was I; right, Israel only attacks military targets not civilians. Sure, I suppose if you're a little squint a mosque might look like a missile launcher. You, know with that whole minaret thing on top, much the same way a synagogue would look like.. oh I don't know a massive bunker? And of course, it's Hamas's fault that in one of the most densely populated area's in the world (about 4000 people per square kilometer) they couldn't find space to conveniently situate all their facilities out of town. Plus, obviously when other people want to blow you up, you should of course try and stand out in the open, away from other people; it's only good manners don't you know?

What was the next one, ah.. the ceasefire; well I suppose it would have helped if Israel had kept to that I guess. But, when Hamas parliamentarians are out in the open, it's a superb time to assassinate them and we shouldn't really blame Israel for that. So yes, definitely, killing more than 20 Palestinians, isn't breaking the ceasefire; and thus Hamas's decision not to continue with the true is completely unjustifiable. To think that they would have the nerve to fire rockets at Israel, well I never; its unbelievable.

Onto Gilad Shalit; that one person has had so much attention lavished upon him is simply put, surprising. To think that Hamas could demand the release of 440 prisoners (women and children) in return for his release; who do they think he is, a pop star? Wait, how many prisoners, 440.. just how many prisoners does Israel actually hold? Over 5500 prisoners, one wonders how they were arrested, they surely couldn't have been abducted in cross-border raids similar to they way Mr Shalit was abducted. That's unconscionable; there is surely no ways Israel could ever be that hypocritical. And there is absolutely no ways, that Israel would use collective punishment (a war crime) on Gaza by blowing up a power station and two bridges, because Israel is a civilised nation.

Well yes, and here I must say I truly agree with you; war certainly is horrible. It's just a whole lot less terrible when you're not the one dying like the Isreali's. Sure Palestinian's are dead, but they don't count do they; they're not actually people. As Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir said "There was no such thing as Palestinians, they never existed". Or that notable, revered Zionist, Chaim Weizmann "the indigenous population was akin to the rocks of Judea, as obstacles to be cleared from a difficult path". How could anyone possibly compare rocks to Israeli's, non-people to people; its completely ludicrous. And to think some people would have us equating the lives of rocks with those of people, why we'd then have over 500 Israeli's dead not just 4!

Moving along swiftly, all this stuff about ethnic cleansing and genocide is so tiresome don't you think? "Terroristic", tsk tsk, not actually a word I don't think; nonetheless they "claim they own everything", how dreadful. However if I do remember correctly, the Israeli government called Hamas "the democratically elected government"; ah.. never you mind, they're allowed to change their minds aren't they? "Trained and supported by Al Qaeda (forgive me for correcting your spelling) and Iran". Now would you believe that, those Al Qaeda terrorists, who hate Shia's and keep bombing them in Iraq managed to put aside their animosity and collaborate with Shia Iran to support Hamas. How could we not have seen this one coming? And of course millions of Israeli's are from that violently anti-semetic country, the United States, so of course I sympathise with you. One just wonders though, why do more and more Jews leave their anti-semetic countries to come and live in Israel where those Hamas terrorists can blow them up at any time?

So back to where we started, tears for Israel. Well this may come as somewhat as a surprise to the 700 000 (not millions fortunately) Israeli's living in the southern parts of Occupied Palestine but, the Israeli Ministry of Defense says "Qassams are more a psychological than physical threat". Small comfort I'm sure, from the 1000 odd rockets launched at Israel which killed 4 people. Sure it might take 250 homemade rockets to kill someone, but as Israeli spokesman have said "they're fired with the intention of killing people". The fact that Israel has fired 1000's of rockets in the last week, killing more than 500 Palestinians, sorry killing 500 Rocks; is really neither here nor there. Unfortunately for the rocks of Gaza, those non-people, they don't have the luxury of seeking refuge in bomb shelters; but then again that's for people isn't it?

So no, unfortunately not; 500 dead Palestinian Rocks are not enough; to satisfy Israel's desire for blood. Unfortunately not, for those about to die; for their children; their loved ones; those who will be left behind. Unfortunately for Israel, Golda Meir was wrong. The Palestinians are people, and they will not be forgotten by the world. To quote that winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, the former Archbishop of Cape Town, Desmond Tutu "Injustice and oppression will never prevail. Those who are powerful have to remember the litmus test that God gives to the powerful: what is your treatment of the poor, the hungry, the voiceless?"

I fortunately do not suffer from your condition; which prevents you from seeing who are the oppressed and who are the oppressors. I will save my tears, for the true victims of Israel's crimes.

Tears in Gaza

2008-12-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

150 are dead in the Gaza Strip, as I sip my latte. 200 are dead as i watch the evening news. Hundreds are wounded, as I eat my dinner. Remote distant, separated from the reality of their existence; insulated from their suffering by the euphemistic phrases in which their deaths are wrapped; "collateral damage" they call it.

I stand before my lord, tears rolling down my face. We are told in that famous hadith, ".. then change it (the oppression) with your heart, but that is the weakest of faith" . And so, unable at this point to do more than this we pray. As we make dua, I am shocked from my reverie. The Imam, a kind gentle man, supports a two state solution in Palestine; he believes an end to the suffering of the people immediately is better than ultimate justice many years down the line.

His voice is raw with emotion, the sound of crying evident to the Jamaat, "Oh Lord you can destroy entire nations in a single moment, Oh Lord as you destroyed the Ad and the Thamud, we call upon you to destroy Israel. Lord destroy the Jews. You have said that the day will come when the rocks and trees will call out to kill the Jews, let that day be soon; so that the suffering of these people may come to an end!"

People's emotions run high, I see one women cursing the tv when they show Olmert at a press conference. A janaza is planned for the slain Palestinians in Johannesburg (Sunday @ 3pm @ zoo lake, ladies facilities available). I'm struck first by grief, then guilt. My complicity, has allowed this to happen; our failure to be more vocal in condemning the actions of Israel. Or has it?

Pain and suffering is part and parcel of the world we live in. Why should the Palestinians be more worthy of our solidarity our pity than anyone else. The Kashmiri's have been occupied as long as them, the Chechens still suffer from an occupation even more brutal than Israel's and the Afghan's have not known peace for almost two generations. Taking a step back from our co-religionists, almost two million people have died in the DRC over the last decade, victims of Africa's first world war. Why such deafening silence from society at their plight?

I think that the tragedy of the Palestinians captures our imaginations because of four main reasons. Firstly, perhaps it is the sheer magnitude of their suffering. Over 4 million people displaced from their homes, two generations growing up in refugee camps. Secondly, the utter brutality of their suffering in particular the apartheid system that they are subjected to. Jimmy Carter, the former US president describes the Israeli regime is his book, Peace not Apartheid, as ‘worse than apartheid’: "When Israel does occupy this territory deep within the West Bank, and connects the 200-or-so settlements with each other, with a road, and then prohibits the Palestinians from using that road, or in many cases even crossing the road, this perpetrates even worse instances of apartness, or apartheid, than we witnessed even in South Africa."

Thirdly and this is one of the main issues for Muslims, the issues surrounding Masjid al-Aqsa and the people of Shams. Finally, and this really is one that continues to astound people, that the perpetrators of these evils are Jews. From the people who suffered the horrors of the holocaust, it is inconceivable that they should inflict this suffering on others. That the cry of "Never Again" has become "Never Again shall Jews suffer", is an anathema to the free people around the world. This hypocrisy, this moral double dealing is the main cause of the revulsion of people from around the world.

And yet what can we do? What have our marches, our chanted slogans and consumer boycotts achieved? No progress has been made, their suffering yet to be alleviated. And so in the end, we are left with the only thing that we had to start with; faith, belief in God, trust that in the end justice will prevail. As we go to sleep tonight, remember the hadith of the prophet "The du’â of a Muslim for his brother (in Islam) in his absence is readily accepted. An angel is appointed to his side. Whenever he makes a beneficial du’â for his brother the appointed angel says, 'Aameen. And may you also be blessed with the same.’” [Sahih Muslim]

The Cautionary Tale of Laila and Qais

2008-12-21T14:38:00.000-08:00

Laila and Qais grew up next door to one another. Separated by a year, Qais's family moved in when he was just two years old. As young children do they grew up living in each other's houses. They played together as toddlers, games of "Cops and Robbers" and "Tea Parties" too.

As the years passed the two grew ever closer until they were virtually inseparable. By the time they reached high school they were much closer than any brother or sister; yet despite the urgings of mutual friends their relationship remained completely platonic.

Laila's beauty had had been apparent since she was a toddler but by the time she reached standard nine she had blossomed into a beautiful women. Despite being pursued by many young men she remained aloof until she began to be courted by Raees.

Raees, seemed to have it all, the scion of a prominent extremely wealthy family, he was also exceptionally handsome. His father an influential politician was grooming him to follow in his footsteps. Laila, wowed by the attention, fell for him hard. Qais, that firm friend of hers, wishing for her only the best, encouraged the blossoming romance. The idyllic life she imagined was illusory; one night after a romantic dinner he took her to a friend's apartment and attempted to rape her.

The trauma was unimaginable, the mental scarring seemed permanent. It probably would have been been without the support of Qais. On her journey through her own mental hell, he was with her every step of the way. Of course, the whole incident was hushed up, the police pressurised to lose the case. A few rumours bubbled around, but by and large, it was as if it never happened.

Three years later, Qais's mother was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. His father, always a hale, hearty man; seemed to collapse overnight. It took his mother four long years to die; his father almost an automaton the entire time. Only Laila's presence kept him sane as he tried to care for both his parents. They both somehow managed to finish their degrees during this tumultuous time.

Despite the hardships that they both faced; the two were a popular pair during their college years collecting friends by the dozen. At the urging of their many mutual friends they attempted a romance, it lasted almost a whole year before Laila broke it off.

"I don't think it's going to work" she said, to the stunned Qais. He slumped to the floor, "why?", he whispered. "It's not you it's me, i'm still not ready for this, for us". "I thought i'd fall madly, deeply, in love and it hasn't happened .. you know I love you as a friend - more than that almost like a brother. And we'l be best friends forever." The shocked Qais mutely nodded his head .. this abrupt end had left him speechless. "Don't be sad", she said stroking his head, "and certainly no crying", i'l still be here for you and you'l be here for me.. but as friends the way we used to be". Qais quiet acquiescence the product of his deep love for her, but more than that his desire to see her life filled with joy.

One short year later, their lives were forever changed, transformed by the arrival of Naeem. Witty, erudite, handsome and with a well paying job for a major corporation, he swept Laila off her feet. Within six months they were engaged, with the wedding set for six months later.

One week before the wedding, Laila called Qais, "we need to talk she said". Qais, his head spinning with the dozens of problems that could have emerged with a week to go before the wedding, agreed to meet her later that night for coffee. "Qais," she wept "I can't see you anymore". "What do you mean?", he asked, puzzled. "It's Naeem", she sobbed, "he feels threatened, by you. By the fact that we once had a romantic relationship". "But, but," Qais stammered "that ended, we ended it, almost two years ago now, how can he possibly feel threatened?". "I don't know Qais, but he threatened to leave, if I didn't agree to stop seeing you, to stop speaking to you, to stop being friends with you. And I like him, really I do; I want to marry him, spend my life with him. You want me to be happy don't you?".

"Of course I do", Qais breathing the words out. "You know, that all I want is happiness for you, that i'd give almost anything for your happiness". "So then?", she asked; "After the wedding, at which I will give you away, you won't see me again; Insh Allah, one day he'll come to his senses and realise that i'm no threat. But until then, I will abide by his wishes, so that you may know happiness." The words came from him, in one single exhalation, his upper lip trembling, his eyes, clouded over with tears, struggling to contain them. He rose from the table, "and now let me be off, before anyone should accuse us of some impropriety".

Many years have passed, Laila, in the terminal stages of cancer, wishes she could see Qais. The years have been good to her and Naeem, their marriage a happy one; their children, her beauty shining in them were themselves happily married. But still, she wished she could see her old friend once more, not that she knew where he was; despite the passing of the years, Naeem had never relented on the promise he had extracted from her almost fifty years ago.

Scant weeks have passed, the mourners slowly adding the last handfuls of sand to her grave; a wizened old man stands amongst the trees. "Oh Laila", he sighs; "how I wished that I may speak with you just once before we departed from this world". It begins to drizzle, as the mourners disperse, he slowly approaches the grave. "I think it's time for me to be with you again", he says as he stretches himself out and lies down, next to her grave.

Concerning Scrapbooking

2008-12-19T14:24:00.001-08:00

Perhaps it's just me, growing ever more intolerant as i totter towards my dotage. Yet the sheer incomprehensibility and pointlessness of people is driving me insane. Or rather I suppose I should say South African Indian Muslims, because that's who they are by and large.

You see I heard about a former friend of mine, now married, and the futility of her new life just infuriated me. Not that I'm judging or anything or that I know what is best for her or for her marriage. What's infuriating me is that we have a society that not only condones these attitudes but actively encourages it.

How many highly educated, smart, driven women are out there - sitting wasting their time in trivial activities instead of ameliorating our society or our country. I mean really .. qualified doctors, scientists and journalists spending their time Scrapbooking?! Are we on the same planet here?

There exists a worldwide shortage of qualified professionals and we are wasting the talents of those precious few, our sanity should be questioned! I suppose this returns us to the heart of the debate around the role of Muslim women, particularly in the West.

It's an issue around which there is some furious debate. I'd like to add an important quote from Professor Abdus Salaam, the first Muslim Nobel Prize winner for science. He said "Of all the lands in the world, the most technologically backwards are the Muslim ones". He further went on to say that this can be attributed to the failure of Muslims to utilise the talents of women. It is a sentiment that I must whole-heartedly agree with. How can you hope to see Islam rise once again, to regain the lead it once held in Science and Technology when as Muslims we utilise only 50% of our resources. Logic alone tells you that this is surely a losing battle.

And yes, I do know and respect the opinions of the majority of the Ulema who say that the first task of a women is to raise her children. But what about those women who are childless, or have just gotten married yet do not intend to have children for a few more years. Why are they not out there using the intelligence given to them by Allah to improve the lives of those around them?

So to the women out there, whiling away their time, Scrapbooking. I implore you, stop wasting your time and talents and start becoming active, productive members of society!

Stress Relief

2008-12-04T15:04:00.001-08:00

Everyone always talks about the impact of stress in modern life. The impact of traffic jams - leading to road rage; or school bullying - turning you into a murderous psychopath.

The truth is though, that the things that affect you the most are the things that aren't modern, the bits and pieces of human life that have been integral in human life throughout history. And I mean history, not just the recorded bits, but the 1 million years since we became Homo Sapiens, and maybe even a little before that as well.

Mortality and health, or ill health as it may be, go hand in hand and have been contributing to stress since time immemorial. We just have to look a little deeper and see the truth, the traffic jams aren't just a waste of time. All that time spent sitting in a car breathing in Carbon Monoxide fumes and generally being couch potatoey.. are bad for your health. Those schoolyard bullies are not only damaging your chances of procreation, and thus preventing the fulfillment of that biological imperative, but they're probably assaulting you for fun as well!

So it comes as no surprise to me, that finding out i'm not dying any time soon would lead to a dramatic change in my fortunes. Extra energy and a generally cheerful demeanour, probably not seen since the 9th grade, are clear indications of the physical impacts of a shift in outlook. The impact thus of the mental self upon the physical is amazing. Of course this is also borne out by numerous scientific studies on such things as the placebo effect, showing that sick people who think they are going to get better, often do.

Personally i'm just grateful for this new lease on life!

In Sickness and In Health

2008-12-03T15:10:00.001-08:00

Isn't it weird, the way people appear to celebrate sickness and death. Let's be clear i'm not accusing anyone of being glad when people get sick or die, but the truth of the matter is that people's sickness or funerals have become these highly ritualised things whereby everyone visits the ill/deceased's home ostensibly to show their concern.

Now in principle this sounds like a fantastic idea, everyone gathering round showing their support but really the practicalities fall somewhat short in this noble-ish endeavor.

Recently a family friend was ill and had to undergo an operation. Now i personally like the person concerned and know her kids so when my folks said they were going to visit i happily jumped in for the ride. But and here's the shocking part, whilst there I overheard two aunties chatting away to each other: "I didn't really want to come but you know how it is, if I didn't come someone would have said something and then all that damaal would have started"

It's unreal honestly it is. So we've moved from this really sorta nice idea of paying respects etc to the ill and the deceased to this weird societal norm, non-fulfillment of which leads to some kind of social ostracization.

Now whilst this is weird all in itself, what really got me thinking was this past week. I've been unwell had a minor heart op and all of a sudden started getting phone calls from assorted family members. Most of them semi-identical along the lines of "we're making dua for you, be strong, insh allah everything will be fine". Which is all good and well, made me feel really loved until the thought hit me, how much of this is borne out of those same societal pressures and how much is actually genuine?