2009 in review - Chasing Cars

So the year in review, feels much like the title of the Snow Patrol song, "Chasing Cars", not actually like the lyrics of the song surprisingly, just the title. The lyrics are sorta relevant i suppose, a love story of sorts, but we'll come to that. The

So 2009, started off with more a whimper than a bang. I was partying up in Bellito at a 5Fm gig, which was pretty fun, but a whole lot less fun than the pre-planned alternative of partying in the Coliseum in Rome with a friend. The deviation from the plan was of course driven by my broken heart which ended with my doc barring me from flying. So there I was dancing in the New Year, opening up a new chapter in my life, the end of me the engineer and the beginning of me the management consultant.

Work didn't actually start for another month, 1 Feb was the big day, and what a ride that has been. I briefly mentioned what it was like, but to surmise it's been a crazy fun filled roller-coaster full of 18 hour days, tremendous excitement at actually driving change, and interspersed and mixed up between this some painful shocks to the system.

Which brings me to the title of this post "Chasing Cars", it's been the theme of my year, well "Chasing" at any rate. Chasing, was to use some Chessic jargon the leitmotif, for me. The year began with me chasing a girl, and ended in a similar fashion, chasing girls. Sandwiched in between, was me chasing the rest of life, chasing work.

I suppose on some level that's what life's about .. chasing .. perhaps just in my corporatised existence? I spent the work year chasing. Chasing after clients, after data (you'd think clients would want to share, considering they hired us, but you'd be wrong). Chasing after projects, the plum ones, in fabulous locations like Madagascar; and most importantly perhaps, chasing after good performance reviews. It's odd that, when 2 weeks, 6 months, an entire year is compressed down into a single page memo, a 10 minute meeting to discuss your performance rating and what that means going forward. It worked out all right in the end, i'll spare you most of the messy bits and pieces in between; but in retrospect it seems so bizarre.

There was plenty of other chasing throughout the year, including some actual "Chasing Cars", that was back in April; it was late one Friday night, after dinner with friends in Joburg. I'd promised a friend i'd drop off some stuff in Pretoria that night, but I needed to be back in Joburg by 7 the next morning. It was 1 in the morning, and the M1 North was pretty empty as I put my foot down, the next thing I knew there was a bright flash and a posse of cop cars chasing me down the highway and violently gesticulating at me to pull over. Less than 10 minutes later I was sitting in Midrand police station, having been flashed doing 178 km/h. Flashing through my mind on the way to the station was everything i'd ever heard about South African jails, anal rape by career criminals, brutal prison gangs and callous policeman. It took almost an hour for the cops to process my paperwork, by which time my folks had arrived at the station (I'd called them in my panic). The swearing and yelling I got from them as I was arraigned ended up being worse than the rest of the jail experience.

I was locked up with 30 other well off men, all arrested for driving in excess of 160 km/h. We laughed at our fears, and swapped speed stories. Unsurprisingly all 30 of us were driving German cars! There were 4 other men in the cell, 3 had been arrested for drinking in public and the fourth for drunk driving. So much then for the scary SA jails; I hired a lawyer before my court appearance who got me off scott-free on some technicality or the other; but i've certainly learnt my lesson. I will never drive at more than 160 on the M1 North!

So what else did I chase this year, life i suppose - that old cliche about working hard and playing/partying harder. Did my very best to live up to that for much of the year. 'Twas a tad schizophrenic i suppose, clubbing versus halqa's; hiking and the outdoors versus marathon PS3 sessions. I think it was a rebellion, a reaction perhaps to 4 years of the regimented life of an engineering student, of living at home, to my new found freedom; the ability to do anything without reprimand or even much of a word of caution. At some point point, burnout threatened to become an issue, but I was fortunate in the timing of projects; they allowed me just enough time to regain my breath, before plunging headlong into another packed calendar.

And so the final thing I chased this year, to return this post to where it started, 'Chasing Cars", and it's slightly too sickly sweet and sentimental lyrics. I chased women this year, far too many for my own good. To the point where as a friend put it, it was becoming bad for my soul!

The year started with me chasing the love of my life, who had decided in her infinite wisdom that we weren't actually cut out to be together for all eternity. It took a few months of hard chasing, wining and dining, for me to realise that the moment had been lost, things had changed and there was no going back.

Next on the list was an almost innocent flirtation then ended in a slightly seedy meeting of hands and lips, that may unfortunately have ruined a budding friendship. I don't think I was really chasing that, perhaps the anxiety and frustrations of the last few months had just sort of boiled over.

Most of the rest of the year was too consumed with my quest for a better performance review to afford much chasing time, but I think I easily compressed more than enough into the final 2 months of the year.

Another budding friendship inexorably altered by an accidental slip of the tongue (really bad pun I know), it left a sour aftertaste in my mouth and hers, here's hoping that can friendship can be resurrected sooner rather than later.

Which leads me to this last month, a tale of three beauties each with their own flaws and saving graces, pretty faces and slightly darker souls:

• The ravishing medical student from Cape Town
• The razor sharp investment banking belle
• And the cutie-pie old family friend, who seems to be hinting at something

The Good Lord alone knows how all this will end up, but here's hoping that 2010 is less about chasing and more about catching. Less about anxiety and insecurity and more about certainty and confidence.

Here's to a 2010 filled with Bafana magic, and the euphoria of the World Cup, and perhaps to finding the one beside whom I can just lie "And Just Forget the World"

PS: And hopefully a lot more blogging :-)